Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize