therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
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