well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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