I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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