dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
