haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
