I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
