I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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