ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize