Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
