I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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