she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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