Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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