Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I'm bleeding and have questions
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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