How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
