it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
