he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Randomize
