i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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