Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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