I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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