My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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