Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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