And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
