i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
cat food counts as protein by the way
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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