WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
