he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
