Duck Duck Cougar?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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