I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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