that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
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