How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
