She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
