if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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