would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
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the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
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I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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