I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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