You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize