How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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