Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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