Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
