Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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