guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday