I must be too annoying 4 u.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.