Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!