oh god the rape fog is back!
I think my fart just growled at me.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.