You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
