That's when you crack a 10am beer
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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