I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
