is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
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