Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
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Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
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Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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