I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Hippo gnu deer
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
