Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
