So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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