She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
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