I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
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