is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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