so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
