Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
