I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
