i was born a porn star she said
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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