Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
is wine microwaveable?
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don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
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She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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