fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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