i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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