whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
