How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
