her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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