did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
