While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
