when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
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do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
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