Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
