I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
