the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
