I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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